FOOTBALL SUCKS!

You should see the Fame Lodge on football nights. My house has turned to a viewing center and I am not even making money out of it!


I don't even take part in their rowdy pastime and no one has ever thought of bringing a cold beer to my room talk-less of offering me whatever it is they happen to be messing my sitting room with yet they leave all the empty cans and food wrappers for me to clear up! Assholes. Chauvinist Assholes!!
Not like I drink beer, you know the Diva is not that crass. Nor do I eat any of those greasy things that happen to stain my furniture leaving me on my knees scrubbing off a dark stain that is so stubborn I wish I knew who exactly caused it so I can soak all his fingers in acid, so that next time, the football freak/fanatic would think twice bout messing up other people's homes! Gawd!!!
And the noise they make! Goooaaaaallll! Yee, pass it! Pass it now!!! Oh God! Ahhhhh!!! (like something really bad has just happened when all that happened is that one idiot with lousy footwork just messed up a good scoring opportunity. And so? I ask.)

SHUT UP! My door is not sound proof! Go to your effing homes and give your wives and girlfriends (or wateva) the headache you are giving me. Inconsiderate children-born-out-of-wedlock!

Don't they have TVs in their own homes? Flat screen, plasma or whatever it is called!!! DSTV?! HiTv?!! WTF-tv!!!
How much is it to watch football at a regular viewing center? What happened to Football clubs or lounges or whatever they are called?!!!
And the Roomate, he is like the Vince McMahon of Football nights. He acts like he created the premier league. The quintessential host encouraging their rowdiness. He is always the loudest of them all, Peter Pan to the Lost Boys!

One day, I am going to... do what?!

I need an idea for something wicked and extremly nasty that'll get them out of my house. It must be mean and permanent. I am still working on it and if you have any brilliant idea, feel free to communicate it.

But before then, I am thinking of writing a series of petitions to the appropriate bodies (which is...?) to get them to ban the projection and viewing of foreign football in Nigeria.
If we keep doing that, how are we going to improve our own local league?
You know what y'all are, you bunch of premiership-loving freaks? You all are simply unpatriotic and you should all be Gunned down and Manchested till you all turn Blue. Traitors!

Guys

So if you are expecting to hear more on Bukky M., I am so sorry to disappoint you, I have busted that topic.

I am no Beyoncé or a Destiny child so I can afford to dis anyone I want on the internet but I am not going to dedicate the rest of my albeit free space online to them.
Luckily for me and for Bukky the slut, I went for a foroshoot (photo shoot) at Obudu over the weekend. I heard 'Edie' spent the entire weekend at our place. Of course, the only reason why she could do that was cos I was out of town.
The stupid bitch! I wish she could have heard what the guys said about her weekend in the Fame Lodge (that's what the Room-mate n I call our humble abode.)
Apparently, my friends have been passing my (ex) friend around.

You know that's one thing I don't understand about guys. Guys can be real pants! In fact, guys are more of sluts than girls. The fact that the Room-mate knew that Bukky M. had slept with two of his friends but still went ahead not only to sleep with her but allow her spend the weekend, makes my tummy turn.

You should see the stupid guys she slept with, including the Room-mate! At this point in time, he deserves to be called stupid and the amount of respect I use to have for him has somewhat decreased.
Not like I didn't know the Room-mate was a pant or a Dawg as guys like to call themselves. But even a common dog should draw the line when it comes to some kinds of things he sleeps with.

They were all exchanging notes and making lewd remarks. The more disgusted I looked the more uproarious they became. In the end, I had to walk out.
When I came back the Room-mate started accusing me of being a hypocrite; after all, I didn't even like the girl.
I may not like the girl but I am a woman and when I hear guys dissing a fellow woman no matter how slutty or rotten she is... well, it's plain disrespectful though this particular "woman" deserved it. How can you turn yourself into a towel, the type guys pass around in a locker room and then drop on the floor, step on it and walk away?
News flash Bukky M.: There's a big difference between having lots of guy friends and actually throwing yourself at men.
In the end, who is disgraceful?

I told the Room-mate how disappointed I was and I reminded him of the fact that I hanging out with him and his friends didn't actually make me "one of the boys" especially when it comes to some particular topics. Then he retorted that I didn't used to mind before listening to their conquests and that the reason why I minded so much now was because it was Bukky M.
That last statement didn't make any particular sense to me and I told him so.
In the end, since we are both not belligerent people, we agreed not to let something as inconsequential as Bukky M. spoil the perfect aura of friendship in our home and busted the issue.

But almost immediately, he began to complain bout the awful weekend they had spent togeda n wanted to fill me on the parts of the other guys' stories that I had missed when I walked out.

That's when I decided that it was one of two things: either I had become truly de-sexed in the eyes of the Room-mate or he was just a dumb insensitive chauvinist pig- plain and simple!!!