Did I tell you before? Yes, I did. I mentioned her here.
It all started while I was away. Of cos, that's the only time it can start.
So I come back, and the guys are raving.
"Oh T, u shuld meet Lois."
Lois this, Lois that. And the one I didn't like- "You guys are so alike."
All the guys were raving except the Roomate which was pretty odd cos usually he can't wait to lament about and ridicule the dumb, inept girls he dates. But this time he was mute. And I didn't ask.
I met her and the first thing I thot was she looked like a toothache. I mean, she so sugary sweet, candy cute that you get a pain in ur mouth just from looking at her.
She's also weird. She has this penchant for shorts, mini skirts, mini dresses, boob tubes, strapless everything, painted toenails, anklets and wristbands, thongs, sandals, junk jewelry, Rhianna razor cuts et cetera, et cetera. The only thing she does not have is a tattoo. She probably does somewhere very silly.
She tends more to giggle than laugh. And for all and how girly-girly she looks, she's a tomboy. She drinks and smokes as well as them amongst other things (I don't smoke). I heard she has four brothers. Big deal.
And then she has this thing for cars. She has like three. My first thot when I heard about her car moves was "Runs chick" but I heard her Dad is loaded and her brothers too. She owns this restaurant and a nightclub.
Who cares. Pshaw!
She is nice o. And that's the problem. She just flaunts her money around.
"Let me get this, let me get that."
Femi is already getting irritated which is a good sign. By the time we all nag, she would be out. I mean these guys work for their money and are loaded too. Maybe not with Dad's ceaseless dough but they are self-made dudes. And then this girl comes with her condescending attitude.
Like they really need a girl to pay for stuff for them. Foolish B.
The Roomate does not say a word when she's around instead he smiles like one fool, looking all bashful. Dumb ass!
At night, he receives all these childish midnight calls. And whenever the crew is together and she's not there gate-crashing as usual, she calls and then the Roomate will smile and disappear for hours to receive her calls. If it's at night, he goes out to the compound to receive them. She must be doing something right if he's willing to face all those mosquitoes just to talk to her.
And then when she sleeps over. I have to turn up my radio real loud to block out all her giggles... and more.
I've watched them come and go. And forget it, this one would zoom off like the others. Real soon.
She's too... me. And there can only be one of those at the Fame Lodge.
On Sunday we all went out and she and I were standing beside a car waiting for the guys to get something or the other. Then someone comes and asks, "Are you sisters? You really look alike."
Duuuh just cos we were both wearing shorts though hers were tighter and while I was wearing my usual baby Ts, she was wearing... I can't remember jo!
I mean, some people shaaaa. I just eyed the person, hissed and walked off (Blind bat!) while the idiot giggled.
"Really, you think so? No actually, she's my boyfriend's sister."
Sister?! Was that what they told you? It will shock you nau!
Soon and very soon.
I'M GONNA RUN YOU OUT!