Like seriously, WTF!!!

Someone has finally decided to marry me.

Ah mean... WTF!

I wonder where this stupid Roomate gets his stupid friends from!!!

'Treasure,"

Duuh, my name is Trésor not Treasure, even though they mean the same thing.

"Treasure, I am going to the East this weekend, give me your father's address in the East I want to go and see him."

Please read the sentences in quotes with a thick Igbo accent. Except my replies, of course. Read those in the most detached, bored tone you can muster, heightened by a note of incredulity. For the Roomate's tone you can assume the dumbest one you can muster.

"Why, Anthony, why do you want to go and see my father?"

"Because I want to marry you. I want to go and ask for your hand in marriage."


From my father, how quaint? Really, I was so shocked that I didn't reply him at all. Instead I gave the Roomate a dark look as in "Is your friend for real?" No, make that- "Is your stupid friend for real?"

The idiot (now I mean the Roomate) first looked dumbfounded then amused.

"Serious, Anthony" - He pronounced it AN-tow-ny, the way the idiot who owns the name pronounces, trying for the pronunciation he hears in movies- AN-t'ny as in Cockney.

"Serious, you want to marry Trésor."

And that was when the stupid AN-tow-ny started blushing! As in, for real?!!! What the heck!!!

"Yes naa. I want to marry her naa, she's a fine gal, naa. So, Treasure, give me your popsie address naaa?"

"My Popsie?" I asked

"Yes naa."

"Well, my "popsie" does not stay in the East. Last I heard, my popsie is a Russian and he lives in Russia."

"Eh na true o, I don forget say you no be Nigerian. Oya, give me your Papa address for Russia. Make I go there go find am?"

And he was serious too.

What the hell! Na so dem they marry?!!!

Ah mean, WTF!!!