If you can't beat him...

I remember one time when I had this boyfriend that was a game freak! I mean the guy liked to play games. You name it, he plays it. Computer o, board o, ten-ten o (Wande coal's type not the one little girls play.) As a pet-name, I called him Game-boy.

There were times where we would be lying down in bed just, you know, hanging out and his lappy would be opened to one game-site or the other- sudoku, scrabble, yahoo games- anything to distract him sha!

I would complain and complain.
"You need to give me attention." "I looove attention." "The Diva thrives on attention."

Breeze.

One day, I went to Bilkis' house just after she got married, I went to spend the weekend. There was this premiership match on TV and suddenly, there sat Bilkis analyzing football. She was rapping names and jersey number, strengths and stats, in fact, she sounded more savvy than the Commentators on TV.

What! Bilkis since when did you start liking football, talk less of knowing Chelsea and Squadron.

I mean Bilkis and I used to be one of those girls that biffed other girls for pretending to know anything about football. Most of these dull girls know jack. Their fanship for a club only lasts as long as their current boyfriend who happens to be a fan of that club.

Ha! Chelsea! Blueeess, Blueees! Up Blues!
Ha! Chelsea is going to play today, I am going to wear that my blue jersey and my blue arm band and my blue jeans... and your blue bra and your blue pant!
You know, with girls, every occasion is a good one for making a fashion statement.

That's how the Roomate tried one mgbeke that used to come around with her boyfriend to watch match at our house.

"You say you like Arsenal"

"Of course naa, gunners for life!"

"Okay, name three players there apart from popular ones."

Exam question! You should have seen the way the girl strained her face like she was about to drop this big constipation-like shit.
For where!
In the end the strain was replaced by an idiotic grin.

So when I saw Bilkis dumping stats that day like an MC on a crazy mic, I felt betrayed. Oh no! Not Bilkis too.

But Bilkis gave me this explanation for her betrayal.
'My sister wetin I for do. My husband loves football. when his club is playing he ignores me. In fact, in that moment if I yarn anything other than what is going on on TV he almost bites my head off. So I learnt to love what he loves. My sister, if you don't want to be ignored, you had better get involved.'

Involved, yeah but not to the extent of becoming holier than the pastor! The last I heard, HiTv is thinking of recruiting Bilkis to become a commentator for one of their premiership stuff.

Back to GameBoy.
I mean the guy's love for distraction was the undoing of our relationship.
Later, after we had broken up, I narrated my ordeal to the Roomate.
'And so?'he asked 'You should have learnt to play scrabble.'

My people looking back now, I am thinking, really, maybe I should have. I could have been going for international competitions by now. Or at least, I would still have had him. Looking back now, I am thinking: except for the game thingy, he wasn't all that bad. He was a real bull in bed- that is whenever he finally managed to close the lappy and get it off the bed!