Wednesday, July 22, 2009

If you can't beat him...

I remember one time when I had this boyfriend that was a game freak! I mean the guy liked to play games. You name it, he plays it. Computer o, board o, ten-ten o (Wande coal's type not the one little girls play.) As a pet-name, I called him Game-boy.

There were times where we would be lying down in bed just, you know, hanging out and his lappy would be opened to one game-site or the other- sudoku, scrabble, yahoo games- anything to distract him sha!

I would complain and complain.
"You need to give me attention." "I looove attention." "The Diva thrives on attention."


One day, I went to Bilkis' house just after she got married, I went to spend the weekend. There was this premiership match on TV and suddenly, there sat Bilkis analyzing football. She was rapping names and jersey number, strengths and stats, in fact, she sounded more savvy than the Commentators on TV.

What! Bilkis since when did you start liking football, talk less of knowing Chelsea and Squadron.

I mean Bilkis and I used to be one of those girls that biffed other girls for pretending to know anything about football. Most of these dull girls know jack. Their fanship for a club only lasts as long as their current boyfriend who happens to be a fan of that club.

Ha! Chelsea! Blueeess, Blueees! Up Blues!
Ha! Chelsea is going to play today, I am going to wear that my blue jersey and my blue arm band and my blue jeans... and your blue bra and your blue pant!
You know, with girls, every occasion is a good one for making a fashion statement.

That's how the Roomate tried one mgbeke that used to come around with her boyfriend to watch match at our house.

"You say you like Arsenal"

"Of course naa, gunners for life!"

"Okay, name three players there apart from popular ones."

Exam question! You should have seen the way the girl strained her face like she was about to drop this big constipation-like shit.
For where!
In the end the strain was replaced by an idiotic grin.

So when I saw Bilkis dumping stats that day like an MC on a crazy mic, I felt betrayed. Oh no! Not Bilkis too.

But Bilkis gave me this explanation for her betrayal.
'My sister wetin I for do. My husband loves football. when his club is playing he ignores me. In fact, in that moment if I yarn anything other than what is going on on TV he almost bites my head off. So I learnt to love what he loves. My sister, if you don't want to be ignored, you had better get involved.'

Involved, yeah but not to the extent of becoming holier than the pastor! The last I heard, HiTv is thinking of recruiting Bilkis to become a commentator for one of their premiership stuff.

Back to GameBoy.
I mean the guy's love for distraction was the undoing of our relationship.
Later, after we had broken up, I narrated my ordeal to the Roomate.
'And so?'he asked 'You should have learnt to play scrabble.'

My people looking back now, I am thinking, really, maybe I should have. I could have been going for international competitions by now. Or at least, I would still have had him. Looking back now, I am thinking: except for the game thingy, he wasn't all that bad. He was a real bull in bed- that is whenever he finally managed to close the lappy and get it off the bed!


yinkuslolo said...

hahaha, I am in deep like with this ur post again. Infact, i dont gbadun fball and will not for any guy, except there is something else.

but im down for any other game, board, comp, video, name it! infact that ur ex, if he jams me, he will relax and not want to play again except in bed lol

Trésor said...

boyfriend snatcher! wat makes u tink u wuld do better where I failed! go jo! *sulk*

Splash said...

@ y & T - you guys are crazy.
i love me my games o! gosh i miss rubbing pads with my friends.
i play a little internet game when stressed in the office. i have gladly spread that habit to every1.

Tres baby, become a follower

Trésor said...

u see where the wahala comes in: when u said pad, guess the first thing that came to my mind. and the image of rubbing two or more sanitary pads together seemed weird (I swear that was the first picture I got)
so now u see why the game thing never flew with me. I just don't speak the lingo y'all and that's just one of the problems.
I swear sweetie I will follow u anywhere but not to play pad-rubbing games! uhn-uhn! count me out!

=♥...IamShhh...♥= said...

LOL!! they say "if you can't beat them, join them"

Football is so annoying!! why would grown men want to watch other men running around a field chasing one small ball???
someone just needs to explain..

rayo said...

funny thing, i started playin video games coz of my ex. i got so addicted i got a psp 4 myslf nd even gamepads 4 my lappie. i enjoy it now still, nd funnier still my present boyfi dsnt play vid games, i'm d one who does.
i stopd at watchin football tho, i totally will not do that 4 any bobo. i dont think a girl shld force it tho, try it, if u enjoy it, fine, if u dont nd u 4ce it, i tnk its plain dumb.

Trésor said...

ah-ah! we've finally caught one! so u this rayo u r one of dem, all you I-love-my-boyfriend people!
Okay now, as ur present boyfriend does not play game, start unlearning all the games you have learnt naa, abi how fa? *hiss*

@my dear Shhh boo, I am thinking of forming an "I hate football" chicks only club. We need to make that clear- FOOTBALL, GAMEBOY, Game anything sha, they all SUCK!!!

rayo said...

u prob noticed i said i enjoy it. i still play my games...
i tnk in any rel there r things u try (bth d guy nd d gal) jst coz ur partner lyks it. dats y i said, i dnt do football nd y i said its dumb to 4ce it if u dnt enjoy it. we cnt deny d fact that there r girls who njoy football evn minus d boyfi factor, tho i'll gladly join d of 'i h8 futbol' chicks personally

Trésor said...

okay rayo, sweetie, i will allow u join the I Hate Football chicks only club... just cos u begged o!(tee hee hee)
n maybe u, yinkuslolo and splash can form ur own GameHeads club or something or GameChicks...wareva...

seriously, thanks for stopping by, am enjoying playing word-tennis wit u.

rayo said...

lol. got2 say im enjoyn readn ur blog tho so d pleasure's myn.

Splash said...

one should never force oneself to do something cuz of other people. but i'll play golf if i'm sure to get a contract signed. :-)

your likes are your likes jare. you have to admit there are cool moves in football not to mention fine bobos.

remove this word verification thing jo.

Trésor said...

the word verification thing, it's annoying shey.

muyiwa said...

nice blog like mine,lol

LG said...

gunner for life jare:-)

Trésor said...

yah! the football freak is back! I guess it's useless telling u u r not invited to join the I HATE FOOTBALL chicks only club.

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