Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Long thing

That's how Thaddeus come and impregnate one girl in our area.

One girl: Thaddeus, come I want to see you.

Thaddeus: Wasup, baby.

One girl: I am pregnant.

Thaddeus (laughing): You can't be serious, I used a condom.

One girl: (loud laughter and clap): See this one o. E be like say, you are the only one who no know say condom no be guarantee.

Thaddues: Oh so since you are obviously one of those in the know, why didn't you get backup.

One girl: Backup?

Thaddeus: The pill or something.

One girl: Pill?

Thaddeus: Look I don't have time for this shit.

One girl: Where are you going to? I say you give me bele and you are woking away.

Thaddeus: So what do you want? Money for an abortion?

One girl: Abortion ke? You must marry me ni.

Thaddeus (SUPER BIG LAUGHTER): Marry you. (More laughter. Eyes tearing up.) Are you serious? You want me to marry you. (Almost choking now.)

One girl: (sulky silence.)

Thaddeus (clears throat): You for talk that one since before I even fuck you. Okay, no problem. you want me to marry you abi?

One girl: No be say I want you to, you need to. Me, I no fit do abortion o. What if I die? Abi you don't know girls use to die ni.

Thaddeus: Okay, calm down. No problem. You wan make I marry you abi. Well, since it's all because of the pregnancy, first of all, you have to take a pregnancy test.

One girl (waves a lazy hand): Small things.

Thaddeus: Okay. Then you have to get a paternity test done on the foetus.

One girl: Pa-ta... Talk am again.

Thaddeus: Pa-ter-ni-ty test. It's a DNA test. You have got to prove that my DNA matches that of the baby in your womb.

One girl: Shey na blood group?

Thaddeus: Nope. D-N-A. You do know what a DNA test is seeing as you are so knowledgeable.

One girl: (Heavy silence. Then...) Oya, give me abortion money.

Obviously e don enter long things...

visit Untame!


Controversy said...

Looooooooooooooooooooooool I like this mr Tresor.
Good stuffs.

Oyana said...

When you have two options, always take the less complicated and discombobulated.

Smart girl!

Splash said...

this woman!
na only u dey see all this kind drama.
the girl is crazy sha.

Trésor said...

@Controversy: it's Ms. Trésor to u.
@Oyana: Na u sabi. PS: wats discombu-thingy.
@Splash: abi naah. Comes with hanging around a certain crop of guys too much. U see things, u hear things.

Sumptuous said...

This is hilarious. The babe no too like story. Thaddeus is one lucky b**t**d, he never jam rock. P.s: first time here defi not my last.

Sumptuous said...
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