Trésor,The Wife.

Now that I have decided that I wanna get married after all, this is the kind of wife I want to be: I want to stay at home and do nothing, just spend my husband's money when it is available and play with the kids when they come back from school.

I will wake up by 1pm in the afternoon after I have stayed awake till 4am or 5 and made breakfast for my husband. I will then sit and watch DSTV till around 4:30 when it is time to go pick the kids from school. Of course, I would have instructed the maid/nanny on what to make for lunch. When I come back, it is back to the couch while the maid makes dinner and the nanny gets the kids ready for bed after making sure they do their homework and have time to play. When the hubby comes home, I will dish out the food that maid prepared and act like I have been busy all day. If he wants sex, I will give him then it is back to DSTV.

Of course, I will be on an allowance and at holidays, the man will send me and the kids abroad for a well-deserved one.

I don't even want a business where you will sink in all your money and I will keep asking for capital while making no profits. Nope, I am going to be the perfect stay at home wife/leech.

I will even ignore your indiscretions so long as there is DSTV, I can spend time with my girlfriends comparing our boringly rich lives, lots of spending money and make-up gifts all the time (you know the ones you buy for me after each fight!!!)

I have heard that these days guys prefer wives who don't work and can stay at home and dedicate their lives (and their youth) to their kids. At least that's what Bilkis' husband wants! And I don't know why my friend is fighting it.

He gives her an allowance each day (N500) and anything else she wants he provides for her. He gives her money each month for monthly shopping. She has a car to herself so she can go pick the kids at school. She has a maid, she has a nanny. Heck, gurl- live the life!

Sabrina has a boutique in front of her house and that's where they all go to gossip. I tag along once in a while because you know married women and single friends. I want to respect myself- no insults, please.

It's not my fault your husband was not the same person you dated. Don't ruin my own naive view of marriage and eternal love!

So I am just saying it now. If you are one of those guys that want to marry a woman totally dependent on you- please, beep me. And if you decide to fly around the world while I stay at home training your kids to be brats and menace to themselves, no problem. Just leave plenty spending money behind.

Oh! And don't forget to pay the DSTV subscription.

Love, Love, Love.

There is this cute couple that pass by my house everyday. Oh, they are so cute. Both tall, both skinny, both young, so in love...

Of course, I am biffing them!

They started out as friends from secondary school- high school romance, don't you just love that?!!! Now they are both adults in their early twenties, still in university. At least one is and it's not the girl! And I am thinking, how long will this "shit" last!

I had this friend. She dated this guy for five years, FIVE years, all through uni and when it was time for wedding bells to toll for her, the relationship crashed.

I don't believe in long-term relationships especially when it starts out that early. Call me cynical. Very few, and I mean very few, fail to stand the test of time.

I believe in mature relationships, between adults. That is, if that word "adult" still exists. What with everyone aiming for eternal youth in looks and deeds.

Oh, what the heck! If you want to marry me, have that in mind when you come to ask me out on a date. And by the time we have dated for two months, we should be engaged. I will not waste my energies on a five-go-nowhere-year relationship. Thanks but no thanks, I can do without the experience!

And I so hate high school romance/friendship relationships. After two years of that, familiarity sets in. Also if the guy has been getting it for free all this while, what makes you think he would be willing to pay for it.

Bottom-line: The only time long term relationships work is when no one is getting anything. Deprivation instills sense and aids commitment. Tell everyone I said so!

One thing I hate more than men (and women) who rape babies, men who beat women.

I think the latter should be made to kneel in front of a bunch of women with pestle who would then cudgel the idiot to death.

And for people who rape babies, thy should have their sexual components removed in a very bloody and painful experience and then be made to leave the rest of their lives as the empty beings that they are.

How have you been?

Who are you?

Never ever let anyone except God define who you are.

You don't know me better than I know myself. You are not in my head or heart to know what motivates me. You can only judge by my actions. And unless I tell you, you may never figure out my reasons. Also, that I tell you doesn't mean they are the real ones.

Only God who sees all heart and forms our thoughts can state the claim to complete knowledge of me.

Since you don't me that well, you can't predict me definitely. You can only make assumptions. Even when your assumptions are right, don't pat yourself on the back; I could surprise you tomorrow.

And anyway, instead of wasting your time trying to figure me out, why don't you concern yourself with your own life. Even if you don't think so, you are just as complicated.

What I am enjoying

This J-lo song! Couldn't find a music video. It's soundtrack to Back-up Plan. The song and movie actually inspired a post but I changed my mind.

Enjoy the make-up video and the beautiful song... and remember dreams do come true.