Trésor,The Wife.

Now that I have decided that I wanna get married after all, this is the kind of wife I want to be: I want to stay at home and do nothing, just spend my husband's money when it is available and play with the kids when they come back from school.

I will wake up by 1pm in the afternoon after I have stayed awake till 4am or 5 and made breakfast for my husband. I will then sit and watch DSTV till around 4:30 when it is time to go pick the kids from school. Of course, I would have instructed the maid/nanny on what to make for lunch. When I come back, it is back to the couch while the maid makes dinner and the nanny gets the kids ready for bed after making sure they do their homework and have time to play. When the hubby comes home, I will dish out the food that maid prepared and act like I have been busy all day. If he wants sex, I will give him then it is back to DSTV.

Of course, I will be on an allowance and at holidays, the man will send me and the kids abroad for a well-deserved one.

I don't even want a business where you will sink in all your money and I will keep asking for capital while making no profits. Nope, I am going to be the perfect stay at home wife/leech.

I will even ignore your indiscretions so long as there is DSTV, I can spend time with my girlfriends comparing our boringly rich lives, lots of spending money and make-up gifts all the time (you know the ones you buy for me after each fight!!!)

I have heard that these days guys prefer wives who don't work and can stay at home and dedicate their lives (and their youth) to their kids. At least that's what Bilkis' husband wants! And I don't know why my friend is fighting it.

He gives her an allowance each day (N500) and anything else she wants he provides for her. He gives her money each month for monthly shopping. She has a car to herself so she can go pick the kids at school. She has a maid, she has a nanny. Heck, gurl- live the life!

Sabrina has a boutique in front of her house and that's where they all go to gossip. I tag along once in a while because you know married women and single friends. I want to respect myself- no insults, please.

It's not my fault your husband was not the same person you dated. Don't ruin my own naive view of marriage and eternal love!

So I am just saying it now. If you are one of those guys that want to marry a woman totally dependent on you- please, beep me. And if you decide to fly around the world while I stay at home training your kids to be brats and menace to themselves, no problem. Just leave plenty spending money behind.

Oh! And don't forget to pay the DSTV subscription.