Friday, May 8, 2009

Seriously EXaggerated activity

Bilkis got de-vee-d at 28 and that's because she got married at 28. (Everyone calls her Billie except for the Roomate n I; we call her Kissie.) It's not like she's particularly religious. I mean we were party-partners at skool and most of the coolest guys in school used to roll thru our room. She was just a strong girl with a stronger moral consciousness (whatever that means.)

She refused to give over her flesh to one guy whom she might end up breaking up wit two minutes later only to jump into the next temporary relationship -possibly wit a shorter lifespan- and before you know it she would have passed thru a number of guys who would have stolen all her essence and hardened her before she meets Mr. Right, the poor guy who would have to bear the brunt of her disillusions and disappointments. (I just quoted her argument verbatim!)

So she waited and instead lived out her fantasies through us, the weaker ones who could rather care less. And what a wait it was. I mean this girl is rather attractive, a chick in every sense of the word. She was a challenge much as she was a turn off to most of the guys who passed through her life. In fact, Bilkis ended up having more boyfriends and toasters than us who were giving it away freely like old supermarket stock.
Finally, she met this guy; rather I should say this guy met her. I mean there are still some guys out there who really go ga-ga over virginity. To the guy, Bilkis was like a surprise Christmas gift that is much more than you would have ever hoped for. He did everything to make sure she remained his. In fact, he went as far as making sure his mom- and the rest of the family- knew how special Bilkis was. The way they clamored for her hand then, like she was the last of a unique designer dress that everyone in a boutique is rushing to get but they were just lucky to snap up.

Wedding day came, then Honeymoon, then they came back from the special honeymoon trip.
'So Bilkis, how far? How was it?'
'How was what?'
'Your wedding night. Your first time. The sex.'
She smiled wryly, sighed resignedly and replied impishly, 'Sincerely? Well, I think sex simply means Seriously EXaggerated activity.'
'That's S-E-A'
'No, that's sex.'

And then, for whatever reason, I just felt sorry for her.
Knowing my Bilkis, there's no way she would go experimenting. That means a lifetime of seriously exaggerated activity for her.

But then, it's the same even for some girls who have had more experience, hence the phrase, "Sex is highly over-rated".
According to the Roomate only girls actually use this phrase So I guess for Bilkis' seriously sexually-inept husband, it was a win-win all the way.
And for Bilkis? Most likely she would be looking forward to a lifetime of romance novels- the cause and effect of female sexual disappointment, still according to the Roomate.


LG said...

awww poor bilkis :-)

T-razor said...

abi, nah...

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